So, since I started my new job I gained alot of weight, over a stone and a half!! That’s a lot for someone who struggled to gain even a few pounds before! Who knew that all I had to do was sit at my desk all day, not exercise and drink heavy fruit smoothies for lunch to gain so much weight??
Well before I knew it, I hit 8 stone and at first I was really loving the weight; I don’t know where it came from but it was like I hit 21 and everything exploded. My hips got bigger, my ass got bigger, my breasts…well they got a teeny bit bigger; suddenly I was all curves and love-handles and I didn’t know what to do with it! But after a while the novelty wore off; whilst I love the curves, I’m not fond of the podgy stomach rolls I’ve adopted or the fat thighs that make my knees blotchy because they’re carrying so much weight. I’m not used to this, I’m only 4ft 11″ so this feels a little bit out of my comfort zone, I think that 7 and a half stone is roughly my comfort weight; so it’s time to think about the one thing I never thought I would have to – dieting. Not the throw your guts up or take drastic diet fasting methods, just healthy eating of 3 balanced meals and no snacking with exercise on the side. But apparently that’s a stupid idea…
I’m extremely lazy when it comes to doing exercise, I’ve never stepped foot in a gym. But lately I have been feeling really self conscious and with summer coming up, I want to wear skirts, shorts and crop tops without worrying about my flabby bits. But today I decided I was going to exercise when I got home (and I did 10 minutes on the stepping machine and 5 minutes doing abdominal exercises – I know it’s not alot but it’s a start to ease me back in) and earlier in work I mentioned it and crikey some of the looks I got!!
The ‘you’ve got nothing to you, you can’t be serious about dieting’ or ‘if you lost anymore weight you’ll be walking along one day and slip through the bars of a drain’ (yeah that was actually said to me). I mean ffs if I want to diet I’ll bledy well diet; I feel out of my comfort zone and it’s up to me alone to change that, I don’t need to hear everyone else’s opinions on my idea of going on a diet. A diet doesn’t just have to mean losing weight, it can mean changing your eating habits or exercising to tone your body; I hate that people think just because I am tiny that it would be insane for me to try and lose weight like I’m so skinny I’m already anorexic or something!! Which I’m not; just over a year ago I was just under 7 stone and this was considered to be in the healthy weight zone but tipping to the under weight zone; now I believe I am overweight or at least close in that direction at 8 stone. Either way, I am unhappy with my weight and I hate that people comment on the fact I would like to lose it as if I am a skeleton already; people don’t seem to understand that just because they are bigger than me does not make them fatter than me. I always get the ‘What do you mean look at you? Look at me and how fat I am?’ You’re BIGGER than me so of course you are going to look bigger but that doesn’t make you fatter; I’m surrounded by at least 3 women in my office who go on about the gym or dieting but if I mention it, it’s like I couldn’t possibly be involved because I’m far too skinny to need to lose weight. Hmm… maybe they’re just jealous of me and my overall size? I am after all, a lot smaller.