Agony Aunt, Shared Experiences and Self-Help ♥ · Rants ♥

Mini rants – Why do girls feel the need to be stick thin??? This beauty tells dieting to go f**k itself!! (16+) ♥

Okay, I don’t really know where to start… Yesterday I finished reading the Hunger Games books and I didn’t really know what to think of it; I guess I’m disappointed that they are going to be splitting it into two films like they do with everything now (well done HP) but I feel that they will be able to convey the amount of action there is in the two films to stop us getting bored. Anyhow, all I know is that I came away feeling that Jennifer Lawrence was definitely the best person to play the part of Katniss Everdeen; she’s fun, gorgeous and doesn’t change herself for no one, I absolutely love her and feel that she deserved to be recognised as a top actress. It must’ve come as quite a shock to suddenly be the lady that every woman wants to be and every man wants to have, after she played her role from the hit book series ‘The Hunger Games’; she had been in a few big screen films beforehand such as ‘X-Men: First Class’ as Raven/Mystique but she didn’t get the recognition for her talents and beautiful personality until she became Katniss. Let’s just show you how amazingly gorgeous she is:
Image ImageImageImageImageJust check her out!! Isn’t she gorgeous? She has a gorgeous complexion with unique yet beautifully defined features and a body to die for; most people in the industry would probably consider her a unique woman compared to the many other women in her line of business since she doesn’t have cosmetically enhanced breasts and isn’t STICK THIN. That’s right, take a good long look at those healthy yet voluptuous curves that are 100% natural; she’s in no way fat, her body is lean and her stomach flat, but she isn’t showing off her ribcage! She said that in her industry she is considered ‘obese’ but refuses to diet; she said that she would never starve herself for a part, and would never want girls to think that in order to look like Katniss they would need to skip dinner. She said that she refused to lose weight for the part of Katniss, and instead wanted to train hard so that her body looked ‘fit and strong, not thin and underfed’.
ImageSuch a brilliant role model; it wasn’t that long ago that there was a lot of argument over the weight of models who were walking the cat walk stick thin, you’d think the aircon would blow them off the runway.
ImageImageImageImageThe young lady above, I’m pretty sure, won a season of ‘America’s Next Top Model’; she was always on the skinny side, but was no where near as skinny as this when she won the show (I think her name was Jasline, or something to that effect). She probably became this skinny when hired by top modelling agencies, who during that time were looking for what they thought were super skinny models, when actually they were hiring girls suffering unknown cases of anorexia. This of course was eventually realised that this is not what any human, let alone beautiful, young women, should look like, and so it was banned that angencies were not allowed to use models with signs of anorexia.

THANK GOD. Unfortunately, they still can’t seem to let go of the idea that a model should be stick thin (although they at least should have enough fat and muscle to prevent their bones from protruding), and many models still get told they need to tone up and lose 10 pounds first; and so people like Jennifer Lawrence are considered obese, and young girls still get caught in the trap of anorexia as they try to achieve this skinny look.
ImageThis is a photo of a Victoria Secret model from 2013; please be thankful that she has some curves, she’s still skinny but not to the point that you think she might collapse of starvation. This photo also reminded me that unfortunately, another recent obsession is having a thigh-gap; I heard that this term has actually been banned on some fitness search forums! How can girls hope to achieve a beautiful, curvaceous body whilst trying to be as skinny as possible?? It’s all about toning and working out!! You can’t have a super skinny body AND these curves, you need fat and muscle in the right places to achieve it, so many girls have got it wrong!!
ImageI still don’t understand why modelling agencies insist you be super skinny in order for the women to want to look like you, and the men to want to have you; I’m pretty sure that most of the comments I have read from guys and even having spoken to guys, that the majority of men would like to have a curvy women, someone they can hold with a handful of breast being enough. Would you not prefer your daughter to grow up looking more like this?? To grow up looking healthy?? Or to look like this??
ImageI know who I’d rather look like for sure!! A few years ago I used to be just 6 and a half stone, for my height it wasn’t too bad as I’m only 4ft 11″ but was still in the underweight zone; when I started my job in an office, my weight shot up to 8 stone as I grazed throughout the day and ate, what I thought was healthy, a full fruit smoothie alongside a sandwich and packet of crisps for lunch. At first I was so happy, no longer did I feel like my bf would be holding a child’s body but a woman’s; I grew into my curvy, wide hips that I inherited from my mum, my breasts also increased (although only just T_T) and so did my bottom and thighs. I felt amazing because I felt like a curvy woman, however it wasn’t long before I realised that I didn’t care much for the many bulges spilling over the top of my trousers, and the fact that I had gone up 2 trouser sizes just to fit my hips in.

Since then I have dropped a stone by eating only my 3 meals a day, not snacking at all and drinking green or spearmint tea to curb the hunger until my next meal time (if I am that hungry then I will have a piece of fruit). I am still curvy, I still have a small amount of stomach fat that I wish to slim down some more through exercise, and my hips are still big though I have dropped back down to my original size 6-8. I have reached a point where I am skinny enough to be in small sizes (though not so skinny that fitting into XS women sized clothing was extremely difficult, making shopping a nightmare and a confidence issue), but still curvy with a women’s hourglass figure. I bet most girls would die for my body, just like I would die for Jennifer’s ( I probably can achieve her body image with some more toning); I watch a lot of K-Dramas and being a huge fan of South Korean women, I am plagued by what they believe is the most wanted look on a woman and this too includes a skinny yet toned body. I should be more thankful for what I have, so I am going to take a leaf out of Jennifer’s book and embrace my wide hips, my curvy figure and plump bum, tone up some more and enjoy looking healthy!! In a weeks time, I’m going to go to a spa with my friends; I purchased a one-piece swimsuit online and I’ve never worn something as revealing as a swimsuit in front of friends since I was 10 years old and had to go to swimming classes in school. Now I’m super happy, and probably more body confident than most girls out there, I can’t wait!!

Thank you Jennifer, any last words for my audience?
ImageImageImageImageImageSo Jennifer Lawrence says ‘f**k off’ to diets!! She’s happy the way she is, unwilling to change and makes up for her ‘obesity’ by her extraordinary talents as an actress; you’ve gotta love her for her fantastic personality and sense of humour if nothing else!!
ImageImageImageImageImageImageCheck out her amazing personality in this video of short interview clips; how could you not love her??

Note: I apologise if I offend anyone, especially anyone who has suffered or is suffering any weight issues such as anorexia or obesity; this is not my intention at all, I just wanted to share my opinion that the media portrays the majority of women as being this one type of beauty. Many women try to achieve this look and unfortunately many get caught in a trap of anorexia which used to be a major issue when modelling agencies were using anorexic models. Fortunately there has been a decrease in the number of anorexia cases since this was banned, but many women are still struggling with anorexia from trying to achieve the (still) skinny look models have. I just wanted to share Jennifer Lawrence as my new inspiration and body idol, as someone who does not agree with this expectation from women in order to be beautiful, as I have recently been judging myself lately when now I realise that there is nothing wrong with my body that a little bit of exercise couldn’t fix. I think everyone should take a good look at the unrealistic expectations that media present to women and their confidence, and deeply consider if they really need to change their look so drastically just to be considered beautiful. Thank you.

4 thoughts on “Mini rants – Why do girls feel the need to be stick thin??? This beauty tells dieting to go f**k itself!! (16+) ♥

  1. Sorry, but i think very different. You apologize for attacking skinny people and at the same time you do it like million others and do the opposite.
    Nobody thinks about what such comments effect.

    To be honest – you don’t really matter about people who look like this. I mean this in the sense you never should critisize other bodies for beeing this or that. You are the problem in person, not the skinny or fat people or models or anorexics …

    Offending other people doesn’t help in any way, it only makes it worse . Since skinny people are offended by people like you, eating disorders are on the rise.

    You follow the media who really has no interest in healing anyone, they only need some headlines like you.

    I hope you will delete your comment and think about it.

    1. Hello,

      I am sorry that I offended you but I am not attacking ‘skinny people’ or anybody about their weight; I am attacking the media for portraying women in a way that makes young girls feel that in order to be beautiful they must be skinny. It is fact that many women are influenced by the women in the media, especially when it comes to their body weight, and whilst some use it as an inspiration, others get themselves caught in an eating trap.

      I have struggled with my weight previously and had a friend who suffered a serious case of anorexia to the point it was frightening; I do care, and I would not go out of my way to insult people especially when I have struggled with it myself. The media are the ones in the wrong.

      I was praising Jennifer Lawrence for refusing to change herself for anyone, who refuses to diet in order to get a role; she was expected to lose weight for her Hunger Games role and she told them that she did not want to look weak and underfed and to make young girls think that they must skip dinner in order to look like Katniss; instead she wanted to be healthy and strong. I was praising her for taking this stance and that more people should be like her, she doesn’t care that her industry calls her ‘obese’ when she isn’t; she is putting an important message out there and being a brilliant role model and inspirational figure. The modelling industry did not help with eating disorders when they were using dangerously thin models, again another example as to why the media send out the wrong messages to impressionable young girls.

      I am not intentionally offending anyone with regards to their weight, and if you re-read my post with what I have said in mind then I hope you will realise that. Again, I have suffered with body issues so would not go out of my way to insult others on their body image; had you known this you might not have been so quick to judge and attack me.

      Again, I am sorry if I offended you but I feel that you have read my post wrong; it is everyone’s choice when it comes to how they look and only they can truly change it, but I feel that having someone like Jennifer Lawrence stand up against the media’s expectations of beauty, even being personally insulted with words like ‘fat’ and ‘obese’, is a brilliant thing so that young girls don’t feel like they need to lose 10 pounds in order to be pretty.

  2. It seems to me that you never truly accepted your body when it was thin. Sad. Usually people preaching body positivity have this notion: Curves = beautiful and curves = more feminine. You also feel this way: ” At first I was so happy, no longer did I feel like my bf would be holding a child’s body but a woman’s.”

    It is posts like these that are so harmful to naturally skinny women. In an attempt to uplift curvy women, skinny women stripped of their femininity. I am certain that you were affected by skinny shaming since you were “so happy” when you gained some weight. Were you not healthy before? Were you not a woman before? Did you believe your body is only a woman’s if you have curves? It is the micro hostilities like this against body types that divide women.

    Quite frankly, your post only bash skinny women, the same way you were probably bashed for your thinness.

    “I bet most girls would die for my body, just like I would die for Jennifer’s” This comes across as arrogant. It’s like you’re saying, you are ideal, rather than saying, we all are beautiful in our own unique ways.

    “Now I’m super happy, and probably more body confident than most girls out there, I can’t wait!!” Just a bit of advice for you: It’s one thing to like how you look, but it’s completely another to gloat about others’ insecurities. No one (Not even fatter women whom you are trying to defend) will take comfort in that.

    Overall, you are someone whose confidence is wrapped up in your appearance as it relates to societal trends, what men find attractive and political correctness. Your confidence is very fragile, and it will fluctuate with the rise and fall of your weight. I know this article was just a rant, but I had to stand up for insecure skinny women because your notion of ideal can scar them. Skinny women should not buy into the curves = woman bs and should not over eat to fit that mold since we are already fine and HEALTHY. Even if people like you do not think we are: “I am going to take a leaf out of Jennifer’s book and… enjoy looking healthy!!”

    Good for you because I’m sure you looked like the walking dead before you put on a few pounds! Aren’t you just trying to raise your self-esteem by belittling thinner, less curvaceous women? Try being confident without relying on validation from men and jealousy from other women.

    By the way, I don’t support anorexia. I’m a fan of eating junk and then exercising. (It’s not exactly good to be eating junk, but hey, it’s my addiction.)

    P.S. A diet is not about starving yourself. It’s about eating proper portions of HEALTHY food (all food groups and their proper portion sizes) at the correct times throughout the day. (usually three square meals, but can vary depending on the person’s health and nutritional needs!) People need to stop using dieting and starving as synonyms!

    1. Hello, I’m going to answer each point of your comment:

      No I hated myself being stick thin, I had no figure at all. I’m 4ft 11″ with small boobs, having no weight on me and a ribcage and spine sticking out, I’m sorry, it did not appeal to me at all. I had a long struggle thoroughout my childhood with a hate for food that didn’t improve until I was much older, it seriously bothered me that all of my friends had curves and boobs and I didn’t. I don’t think it’s ‘sad’ to be unhappy with the way you are – does that mean someone who is fat is ‘sad’ for being unhappy because they are fat?? No it doesn’t. Not everyone is happy with the way they look. Yes I felt like a child, considering my stature and lack of womanly figure, I felt inferrior to everyone else because of the way my body looked.

      Regarding the comment about girls wanting my body, this was probably me trying to convince myself that my body is fine because despite putting the weight on, I STILL wasn’t happy with how I looked.

      Yeah you’re right, that’s a really fucking crap thing for me to say; I didn’t mean it that way so I didn’t read it that way, it was meant to be more of “I’m glad that I can finally hop on board and start to accept my body more” rather than gloating that I could and other girls couldn’t.

      I never meant that girls who were NATURALLY skinny were to be shamed, I wasn’t even meaning to shame skinny women with EDs; I was meant to be shaming the MEDIA for giving women and girls this idea that being skinny (in an UNHEALTHY WAY) was the way to be. At one point the media was employing women only when they were borderline anorexic, it’s not old news that girls are constantly watching what they are eating in the entertainment industry. I don’t have any issues with girls who are naturally skinny at all, and I know that being skinny doesn’t = unhealthy but when they have an eating disorder then it is unhealthy, and the media was encouraging that. I was praising Jennifer for simply standing her ground and refusing to lose 10 pounds for a role because that’s what society and her career expected of her.

      Again, this is how I FELT. I felt like a skeleton, I felt unhealthy and I felt ugly. So yeah putting on a stone did make me feel better. But I wasn’t trying to belittle skinny women for being skinny just to make myself feel better or for bigger women to feel better about their curves (as explained above).

      Finally I am fully aware of what dieting is and isn’t; in a previous blog post at some point, I wrote how my work colleagues WERE making me feel like shit for my body. At this point I had gained that stone and yes I felt happy at first but realised that I would prefer a little less weight but I was laughed at for wanting to diet (in a healthy way). So I have been ridiculed for both ways, when I have felt too skinny and too big for my size. These days it feels like one can never compare to everyone’s ideals.

      This post wasn’t meant to be how EVERY girl should feel, it was purely how I felt about ME and what made me feel happy. I was focusing on the media and how they make girls feel that unless they are really skinny with enhanced boobs then they are less of a woman; that this causes women to struggle with eating disorders in order to get that’ ideal’ look – even I am STILL affected by it today because it is constantly put in our faces.

      I wasn’t trying to shame skinny girls but after reading your comment I was able to read it in a different way and I do understand where you are coming from, that I was defending women for having a bit of extra fat to the point I made it sound like naturally thin women who may not have curves were less feminie but that is not at all what I meant.

      Overall I can see a lot of ignorance in my post, not arrogance. I was mainly focusing on my ideals not women as a whole; I personally feel more confident with curves than I did without, that’s my personal preference. I do not think thin girls are unhealthy and I do not think girls who are naturally thin shouldn’t be happy with their body. Everyone should try to achieve being happy with what they’ve got at the end of the day, but just because someone is unhappy with the way they look no matter how they look, it does not make them sad. If you are 100% happy with your body and looks then congratulations, I’m truly happy for you but not everyone is, I’d say about 70% of us aren’t and aren’t even if we achieve our dream body. Many of us are affected by ‘validation from men and jealousy from other women’ because it is shoved in our faces every day. I won’t deny that someone talking about body positivity is much of the time trying to convince themselves to be happy with the way they look, rather than convincing others.

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